THE TECHNO TERMS DICTIONARY

THE TECHNO TERMS DICTIONARY Now for a few variations on familiar terms:

STATE-OF-THE-ART
Any computer you can't afford.

OBSOLETE
Any computer you own.

MICROSECOND
The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

SYNTAX ERROR
Walking into a computer store and saying... 'Hi, I want to buy a computer and money is no object.'

HARD DRIVE
The sales technique employed by computer salesmen, especially after a Syntax Error.

GUI
What your computer becomes after spilling your coffee on it. (pronounced 'gooey')

KEYBOARD
The standard way to generate computer errors.

MOUSE
An advanced input device to make computer errors easier to generate.

FLOPPY
The state of your wallet after purchasing a computer.

PORTABLE COMPUTER
A device invented to force businessmen to work at home, on vacation, and on business trips.

DISK CRASH
A typical computer response to any critical deadline.

POWER USER
Anyone who can format a disk from DOS.

SYSTEM UPDATE
A quick method of trashing ALL of your software.

386
The average IQ needed to understand a PC.